March 27, 2012
someone told me i suck...

10:25am  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZQTKHyIecg-t
November 14, 2011

12:05pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZQTKHyBwann3
November 4, 2011

Suq Madiq!

12:30pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZQTKHyBUuYX8
May 3, 2011
Jon Stewart to Osama Bin Laden

“SUCK MAAAA DIYACK!”

3:44pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZQTKHy4p_xB-
April 29, 2011
We have an American duty to hate Brits, the royal wedding, and oppressive monarchies who keep taxing us without representation.  SUCK MA DIYACK BRITAIN.  GO ‘MERICA.

We have an American duty to hate Brits, the royal wedding, and oppressive monarchies who keep taxing us without representation.  SUCK MA DIYACK BRITAIN.  GO ‘MERICA.

5:39pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZQTKHy4j2hQe
March 17, 2011
WAIT!! PULL OVER!!!! What’d you say your name was again?  Well, Anthony, my name is Sarah and while no, I’m not a prostitute (thanks for asking!), I’d still really like it if you got out of that big truck, got down on all fours, and SUCKED MY FAT LADY DEIIIYYAACK!

WAIT!! PULL OVER!!!!

What’d you say your name was again?  Well, Anthony, my name is Sarah and while no, I’m not a prostitute (thanks for asking!), I’d still really like it if you got out of that big truck, got down on all fours, and SUCKED MY FAT LADY DEIIIYYAACK!

11:30am  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZQTKHy3fk_I2
March 16, 2011
Hiya Schmegs!

Hiya Schmegs!

1:04pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZQTKHy3eWXdZ
February 14, 2011
Valentine’s Day can suck both my diacks!!!

Valentine’s Day can suck both my diacks!!!

4:45pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZQTKHy34XzHn
February 14, 2011
Mondays can SUCK MAH DEEEIYCK!!!

Mondays can SUCK MAH DEEEIYCK!!!

12:04pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZQTKHy34JAdu
February 10, 2011
Authentic letter of complaint.

Authentic letter of complaint.

5:13pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZQTKHy303dPM
February 10, 2011
SUCK MY DIYACK  By Lil’ Kim, the original.  Uh, uh, uhUh, uh, uhTo all my motherfuckin’ gettin’ money hoesUsed to sellin’ clothesAnd all my ghetto bitches in the projectsComing through like bulldozersNo, we ain’t soberBum bitches know better than to start shitNiggas love a hard bitchOne that get up in a nigga’s ass quicker than an enemaMake a cat bleed then sprinkle it with vinegarKidnap the senatorMake him call his wife and say he never coming homeKim got him in a zone beating they dicksEven got some of these straight chicks rubbing their tits[laughs]What? I’m loving this shitQueen Bitch!What bitch you know can thug it like this?Imagine if I was dude and hittin’ cats from the backWith no strings attachedYeah nigga, picture that!I treat y’all niggas like y’all treat usNo Doubt! Ay yo, yoCOME HERE SO I CAN BUST IN YA MOUTH[1 - Lil’ Kim (Mr. Bristal)](Ay yo, come on here bitch)Nigga FUCK YOU(No, FUCK YOU BITCH)Who you talking to?(Why you actin’ like a BITCH?)Cause y’all niggas ain’t shitAnd if I was dudeI’d tell y’all to SUCK MY DIYCK[Repeat 1][Lil’ Kim]No, no, no, noAll I wanna do is GET MY PUSSY SUCKEDCount a million bucks in the back of an armor truckWhile I get you fucked up off the T.O.N.Y.The BX, the chron-chronAnd the list goes on and on(On and on and on)Like Erykah BaduOnce he drink the Remi downOoh I got this nigga nowHe asked me did I love himI said what came to mind like niggas be doingYeah baby, I love you long timeLook I ain’t tryin’ to suck yaI might not even fuck yaJust lay me on this bed and give me some headGot the camcord layin’ in the drawer where he can’t seeCan’t wait to show my girls he sucked the piss out my pussyBeen doin’ this for years, no need to practiceTake lessons from the Queen and you’ll know how to mack thisNiggas know he gave me all his cakeI peeled the Benji’s off and threw the singles back in his face[Repeat 1 (2x)][Lil’ Kim]I’m gonna keep it realFor the dough I might killI’m try-na see my face on a hundred dollar billMet this dude name Jaleel at this Abdulla fightHe said he’d pay me ten grand just to belly danceCum all on his pantsI met him at the studioHe showed up with his homeboy named JulioI said ‘Whoa! Who’s the other guy?’Hope you know you paying extra for this fuckin’ third eyeSomething about him, I knew he was a phonyPut the burner in his mouth‘Fool, Give me my money!’He was just a nigga frontin’ like he knew mad starsIn his homeboy’s whips like he got mad carsNiggas ain’t shit but they still can trickAll they can do for me is SUCK MY CLITI’m jumpin’ the fuck up after I cumThinkin’ they gon’ get some pussy but they gets none[Repeat 1 fade out] 

SUCK MY DIYACK 

By Lil’ Kim, the original. 

Uh, uh, uh
Uh, uh, uh

To all my motherfuckin’ gettin’ money hoes
Used to sellin’ clothes
And all my ghetto bitches in the projects
Coming through like bulldozers
No, we ain’t sober
Bum bitches know better than to start shit
Niggas love a hard bitch
One that get up in a nigga’s ass quicker than an enema
Make a cat bleed then sprinkle it with vinegar
Kidnap the senator
Make him call his wife and say he never coming home
Kim got him in a zone beating they dicks
Even got some of these straight chicks rubbing their tits
[laughs]
What? I’m loving this shit
Queen Bitch!
What bitch you know can thug it like this?
Imagine if I was dude and hittin’ cats from the back
With no strings attached
Yeah nigga, picture that!
I treat y’all niggas like y’all treat us
No Doubt! Ay yo, yo
COME HERE SO I CAN BUST IN YA MOUTH

[1 - Lil’ Kim (Mr. Bristal)]
(Ay yo, come on here bitch)
Nigga FUCK YOU
(No, FUCK YOU BITCH)
Who you talking to?
(Why you actin’ like a BITCH?)
Cause y’all niggas ain’t shit
And if I was dude
I’d tell y’all to SUCK MY DIYCK

[Repeat 1]

[Lil’ Kim]
No, no, no, no
All I wanna do is GET MY PUSSY SUCKED
Count a million bucks in the back of an armor truck
While I get you fucked up off the T.O.N.Y.
The BX, the chron-chron
And the list goes on and on
(On and on and on)
Like Erykah Badu
Once he drink the Remi down
Ooh I got this nigga now
He asked me did I love him
I said what came to mind like niggas be doing
Yeah baby, I love you long time
Look I ain’t tryin’ to suck ya
I might not even fuck ya
Just lay me on this bed and give me some head
Got the camcord layin’ in the drawer where he can’t see
Can’t wait to show my girls he sucked the piss out my pussy
Been doin’ this for years, no need to practice
Take lessons from the Queen and you’ll know how to mack this
Niggas know he gave me all his cake
I peeled the Benji’s off and threw the singles back in his face

[Repeat 1 (2x)]

[Lil’ Kim]
I’m gonna keep it real
For the dough I might kill
I’m try-na see my face on a hundred dollar bill
Met this dude name Jaleel at this Abdulla fight
He said he’d pay me ten grand just to belly dance
Cum all on his pants
I met him at the studio
He showed up with his homeboy named Julio
I said ‘Whoa! Who’s the other guy?’
Hope you know you paying extra for this fuckin’ third eye
Something about him, I knew he was a phony
Put the burner in his mouth
‘Fool, Give me my money!’
He was just a nigga frontin’ like he knew mad stars
In his homeboy’s whips like he got mad cars
Niggas ain’t shit but they still can trick
All they can do for me is SUCK MY CLIT
I’m jumpin’ the fuck up after I cum
Thinkin’ they gon’ get some pussy but they gets none

[Repeat 1 fade out] 

4:58pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZQTKHy302b-3
February 9, 2011
Me:  Hello, Continuing Studies  Other:  yo, is this the art school Me:  Yes it is. Other:  where you located at Me:  Well, which department are you looking for? Other:  I can learn to play the guitar there right? Me:  We do offer guitar classes but our classes for this semester have already started.  —(He then describes where he lives and how he will get here.  I say “Yes, okay”)— Other:  how much does it cost? per person? Me:  This semester’s course was $280 for non credit, $380 for credit Other:  damn! $280! I gotta get a job or save up or something. I gotta go out and get some guitars and learn how to play. Okay, I’ll hit you back later Me:  Sir, instead of hitting me back via telephone, why don’t you stop by the office and pick up some of our brochures and I can give you some more information about our music course offerings.  Yo, then maybe you’ll be so kind as to SUCK MAH DEIIIYCK!

Me:  Hello, Continuing Studies 

Other:  yo, is this the art school

Me:  Yes it is.

Other:  where you located at

Me:  Well, which department are you looking for?

Other:  I can learn to play the guitar there right?

Me:  We do offer guitar classes but our classes for this semester have already started. 

—(He then describes where he lives and how he will get here.  I say “Yes, okay”)—

Other:  how much does it cost? per person?

Me:  This semester’s course was $280 for non credit, $380 for credit

Other:  damn! $280! I gotta get a job or save up or something. I gotta go out and get some guitars and learn how to play. Okay, I’ll hit you back later

Me:  Sir, instead of hitting me back via telephone, why don’t you stop by the office and pick up some of our brochures and I can give you some more information about our music course offerings.  Yo, then maybe you’ll be so kind as to SUCK MAH DEIIIYCK!

1:04pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZQTKHy2_omWJ
(Notes: 1)
  
February 2, 2011
Later tonight, would ya’ll be up for getting high and watching Baby Mama?  …I just feel like laughing and zoning out, ya know?  I’ll even bring over some popcorn!!!  You pop the movie in the dvd player while I pop into the kitchen to pop the popcorn…and then maybe before the movie starts, you could pop a squat and SUCK MAH DEEEIYCK!!

Later tonight, would ya’ll be up for getting high and watching Baby Mama?  …I just feel like laughing and zoning out, ya know?  I’ll even bring over some popcorn!!!  You pop the movie in the dvd player while I pop into the kitchen to pop the popcorn…and then maybe before the movie starts, you could pop a squat and SUCK MAH DEEEIYCK!!

11:32am  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZQTKHy2swecA
January 27, 2011
Oh, wow, thank you, fellow morning commuter!  Despite it being 8:30AM, I’d love to take you up on that kind offer!  I’ll just pop on into your car for a lil morning cunnilingus, as you suggested when you hung your head out of your passenger side window and displayed your tongue between your fingers.  So flattering!  Then, maybe afterwards, your passenger can crouch down beneath the dashboard and SUCK MA DIAAAACKKKK!!!!! 

Oh, wow, thank you, fellow morning commuter!  Despite it being 8:30AM, I’d love to take you up on that kind offer!  I’ll just pop on into your car for a lil morning cunnilingus, as you suggested when you hung your head out of your passenger side window and displayed your tongue between your fingers.  So flattering!  Then, maybe afterwards, your passenger can crouch down beneath the dashboard and SUCK MA DIAAAACKKKK!!!!! 

12:09pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZQTKHy2mRGKN
January 20, 2011
psssst, hey you! little man with the enormous anger…I know this whole thing has really got your water boilin’ but why don’t you calm down and SUCK MAH DICCCCCCK

psssst, hey you! little man with the enormous anger…I know this whole thing has really got your water boilin’ but why don’t you calm down and SUCK MAH DICCCCCCK

4:44pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZQTKHy2fhP_5
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